There's no reason for it. I just feel like I live in a perpetual state of anxiety and stress. And don't even get me started on social activity. What should be pleasant social events make me feel like I'm marching off to my own execution. I have absolutely no reason not to go and enjoy myself but there is a wall between me and any interest in actually doing it.
And I can't talk to anyone about it. My family needs the tent pole. Old friends are too far gone.
Is it possible to be functionally depressed like it is possible to be a functional alcoholic?
Can someone make it through the day, smile, participate in social activites, present positively, but be suffering with depression?
Can they learn the covering behaviors so as not to trouble anyone?
Can depression go away and come back? Where some days are fine and they’re consumed and interested in what’s going on, enjoying the people around them and they look forward to things, and other days are just bleak? Where they feel empty and overwhelmed and like there is some sort of generically ominous blanket over them?
Can it manifest by there just seeming to be no point? That every day is just a day with tasks to do and then you just repeat it over and over again? Like it is totally pointless? Like all they really do is survive another day until they finally die? Like there is no hope for them to ever feel better?
Could it just be that they are exhausted and need some rest? Or that they have not processed bad things that have derailed their lives and careers? Maybe the stress of covering and maintaining the cheerful exterior - of not admitting a trauma and trying to hold others up - wears them down emotionally and causes fatigue?
Maybe they’re just weaklings who need to toughen up and grow a pair.
