Gah

I don’t even know where to start. The horror of my daughter being raped won’t get out of my head. I have moments when I think about other things...even when I laugh and forget for a few seconds, but it’s like a burst of air lifted a tarp off me for a moment and then the blackness of this evil settles back onto my head.

The work thing is stressing beyond comprehension too. I cannot keep up with everything I need to do, I am totally dependent on the good will of a supervisor and a temporary assignment and I live in this brain fog where i cannot seem to ever get enough focus to get done what needs doing. And that carries over into my pathetic performance as father and husband and manager of the household paperwork.

And the finances. I cannot believe how much we spend and I don’t understand why I can’t slow it down.

And then I wonder why I have nearly constant debilitating headaches and why my chest hurts so badly I can’t sleep some nights.

And now. More travel. Yeesh.