Scrooging

So, before in my life i was pretty well done with Christmas for a while. I did the bare minimum of family stuff and otherwise basically ignored it.

I'd like to do that again for a little while. I treasure some of the moments when my family seems happy and content. I love seeing the smiles on their faces and hearing them laugh.

But I take no joy in the rest of it. It is duty, not fun. I'd cancel the whole shindig if I could.

Of course, what I'd really like to do is reboot it and make it smaller and gentler and less stressful. Make it more the religious holiday and less the crucial sales season to save the economy (not that I don't think saving the economy is important). I'd rather decorate on Christmas Eve and take everything down after the Epiphany. I'd rather see more hand made and thoughtful gifts and baked goods or more things done together than stress about how big a number we can make for the Christmas budget. I'd rather spend time with my wife than race around after her trying to keep up with her and maybe help a little.

I don't hate Christmas. But I dread it these days. It's pretty much only a chance to let people down by not meeting their expectations.

And the vacation and such I get is half gone before I get to breathe and rest a little. Honestly, I'd like to just take the wife and kids and head off somewhere quiet for a few days and just enjoy each other's company.

Have to go. Need to get ready for the next 27 things to do.

sigh.